No big story here. I got myself some Obamacare.

Except this is a life changing event for little-old lupus having me who in my early 20s could not imagine a day when I was not somebody’s full time employee and/or spouse. I feel like some dependent wife in the fifties who needed her husband’s signature to get money out of the bank–and now I’ve got my own account! I get to make my own choices and I get to pay for them. Jerks.

Since the age of 18, I’ve lived my life according to where I can find health insurance next. A pre-existing condition meant that if I did try to buy coverage prior to the ACA I would be shown the door. Just like trying to buy life insurance: nothing, at no price, was on offer. I’ve kept jobs I hated and made major relationship choices with fear of dying from lack of health care in the back of my mind.

Sounds dramatic! But it’s also true. I function pretty healthily as a productive part of a family and economy as long as I have access to specialists and medications. This primary level care keeps my organs functioning with regular blood tests, cheap prescription drugs, expert medical advice, and the will of fate. Without it I would pretty likely begin to lose major organ function and become disabled, a net negative as I relied on social security disability, then after that absurd waiting period (during which let’s say I develop end stage renal disease requiring dialysis), draw heavy on Medicare and Medicaid for tertiary level care. I have a dependent too, so add in my scant but still worth mention social safety net benefits. Let’s be honest, with ESRD and a not-hot candidacy for transplant I’ll probably be dead in 5 to 10 years, leaving social security to pay them death benefits to my child.

Grim! And I’m keeping it purely economic. There are people who would miss me and I don’t want to be disabled and for sure am afraid of dying young.

So back to my Obamacare. I bought coverage this week. I will get to see the people I need for this next insurance cycle! The site only crashed 4 times! $450 a month covers me and the wee one. I’m getting a chance to try my hand at freelancing. I. Am. So. Thrilled. (I’m still in working in the hospital, just not in a position that offers benefits) The threats of repeal feel like real violence against anyone with a pre-existing condition. They also motivated me to take the leap while the net was still intact.

I try to keep it clean most of the time but given his flippant threat to my life I’d like to say fuck you to Tom Price. ✌️

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